she was so not down for the gang bang
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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