would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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