ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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