But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
