so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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