Having a random hookup so left but love u
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
