He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
