Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
