Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
