No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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