Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
