With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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