You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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