I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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