Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
