Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
