OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ttyl tear gas
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
