Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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