All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
