Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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