im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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