I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
