she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
