Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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