is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
