How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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