Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
