Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
