69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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