Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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