from now on my penis is your penis
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
