I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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