We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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