I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
