She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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