Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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