u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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