ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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