Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
