it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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