If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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