dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
