The best revenge is premature balding
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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