Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
