We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
