Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
