I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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