Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
be right there i have to get my cape
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
