Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
