omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
