The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize