i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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