I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
