Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
