Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
