never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Randomize