He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
