I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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