Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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