I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
